How to Give and Receive Constructive Feedback

One of the most crucial yet often overlooked skills is knowing how to give and receive constructive feedback. Theoretically, we all learn it in school. But, a surprising number of people never learn it, which can make any interaction uncomfortable, especially when it comes to authors and their editors.

Receiving With Grace
I get it; no one wants to hear that they’re doing something wrong. An author puts their heart and soul into a manuscript, hands it over to a stranger, and suddenly is faced with a massive amount of corrections. It’s easy to say, ‘thanks,’ and move forward when we’re talking about using a comma versus a semicolon, but hearing that your favorite scene doesn’t make sense is enough to make anyone defensive.

When someone gives you constructive criticism, you have to remember: they’re trying to help you.

Editors are on your side!

Knowing that, we can dive into some of the most common responses and how to solve them productively.

• Upset about the feedback? Take a deep breath, go for a walk, have a cup of tea, sleep on it, do whatever you need to do before you approach it so that you're calm and ready to think clearly.
• Disagree with/don’t understand the feedback? Set up a call with your editor and dive into why they think something needs improvement. They'll be able to tell you because they aren't an AI.
• Don’t know how to implement the feedback? Same advice as above. A good editor doesn’t just deliver corrections and leave. They will sit down and brainstorm with you a better way to pace your chapters.
  
  

Giving With Kindness
On the other hand, you can’t just barge in and tell someone their work completely sucks (even if it does!) You need to respect the time and effort people put in and use this as a teaching opportunity. Don’t be a bull in a china shop.

Any writer-editor relationship is going to have give and take. Writers can (and should) give feedback to their editors too! So, how can you deliver constructive criticism to your editor while still being respectful?

• Worried the other person’s feelings may be hurt? Try something called a compliment sandwich. Choose one or two things that you like or think work well and list that first before getting to the criticism. By starting with something you like, you put the other person in a better frame of mind so they don’t just feel attacked. Plus, using respectful language is always a must.
• Other person ignores your feedback? Everyone can’t always agree on everything. That’s just a fact of life. However, if the disagreement affects the working relationship, it may be time for both parties to step back and reevaluate the usefulness of continuing.
• Want your editor to stop being so mean? Sometimes, an editor is so enthusiastic about your work that they can bombard you with constant criticisms. It’s easy to forget that this is to help you grow as a writer. A simple communication noting that you’re feeling overwhelmed or that it doesn’t seem like they think you did anything right is often enough to remind an editor that you’re only human.
• Not sure if your criticism is constructive? This is probably the most important question to ask. It’s all well and good to correct things that have a definitive answer, but many aspects of writing are subjective. Most of your feedback will be your opinion. You may have ideas that you think are ingenious and would improve your editor’s work SO MUCH, but the point of giving feedback is to give someone actionable ways to do better. If you’re telling someone something they really don’t want to hear, they aren’t going to implement it. At that point, all you’ve done is create friction because your criticism may have been valid, but it wasn’t constructive.